I was born two months premature. Pisces when I should have been a Taurus. I feel this was meant to happen this way. I flatlined at birth, and my mother was informed of the consequences of this. I was two pounds, two oz, and flatlined for two minutes. Two minutes later, my heart started again. My mother claims that a certain female doctor came to comfort her during this experience where she was hysterical, and claimed her, "that everything would be alright." When the male doctor returned with the good news, she told him that she had already spoken with this lady. The male doctor said nobody had come into the room since he left.
Once in a while, on occasion, I truly feel like I'm in touch with my purpose in the world. While I have much admiration for those souls with loud charisma and a tougher inner layer, I actually accept and appreciate my modest voice with a tougher leather shell. Some of us are the empaths, and the core voices of all of humanity, who can reach just about anybody in the right moment, and have a real conversation.
"I feel like we're all here on this planet, and intimacy is important. I can't bear small talk, it's awful. I want to get beyond that thing of discussing how the weather is a bit better today than it was yesterday, and how this is a nice restaurant. I want to get to what are the problems, what's really going on. Are you in love? Are you in a lot of pain? What's really going on in your life? I'm interested in that area, whether it's on stage or in real life."
-Simon Amstell
I do not own that charisma, that natural ability to talk to people, and get them to open up to me. If it was something I could purchase online, like a commodity, I would truly consider it. However, I've come to realize, people are naturally cautious about me. They don't know what to make of me. I'm a little reclusive, and a little cautious myself of who I tend to open up to. The magic sort of happens when I'm able to sit with somebody one on one, and have a conversation in which there's realization that there's a real connection. I want to know what's really going on, without the costume and makeup. I want to know how people are feeling, and what we have in common. Common interest is the source of my relationship foundations with other people. It's what makes me feel I have something in common with the rest of humanity.
With age I am becoming more accepting and having a better understanding of my place in the universe. The INFP personality who has connect with people on a more intimate level, despite my lack of "stage presence".
Two separate psychics have told me I'd end up working with "young people, showing them their path". I still have yet to determine what this means, since I tend to seize up around most young people. While some of you might shake your head in skepticism at the idea of psychics, they've been right about most things in my life thus far. There is an underlying message in all of the way which we experience this "life".
If you've seen the movie "Flatliners", it's also an interpretation of this concept. Our life and death is our own interpretation of the concept. There is no "proper way" to experience either end of the spectrum. We are our own soul, who determines our way of living, and we all experience death differently. Within good and hard times, we have to trust the universe in all of it's magnitude, and learn how to eventually trust ourselves, and our own instincts.